Your NFL Top 5!

We’ve officially gotten some of the offseason rust out of the way. Now, after week two of the NFL, we can reasonably put together a top five and a bottom five rankings, along as always with some fantasy picks!

5) Let’s start with the top five NFL teams, from the bottom up. At number five, I have the Baltimore Ravens. Sure, they let a close one slip away in week one to the Buffalo Bills, but Baltimore’s offense showed us in both weeks one and two why every team must fear them. Through two weeks of NFL football, the Ravens have accumulated the most points (81) out of any NFL team, breaking the 40-point mark in consecutive weeks.

Another thing, they proved that they’re not a one-dimensional offensive team. The Cleveland Browns did an outstanding job stifling Baltimore’s run game, holding Derrick Henry to 23 yards on 11 carries. Lamar Jackson only had 13 yards on two carries, and neither scored a running touchdown. Instead, Lamar aired it out, throwing for four TD’s to three different receivers. I think that narrative that he’s only a running QB has been dead in the water for a long time. There is no answer for this offense.

From a fantasy perspective, last week I mentioned DeAndre Hopkins as a fantasy player to watch. His reemergence in Baltimore has been on full display, picking up 64 yards and yet another touchdown in week two. Zay Flowers is the clear WR1, but Hopkins has it in him to exceed Flowers’ numbers as he takes over the WR2 spot.

Next up, they’ll face the 1-1 Detroit Lions.

4) At number four I have the defending Super Bowl champion, Philadelphia Eagles. Aside from still being undefeated (10 teams are undefeated), defeating a division rival in the Dallas Cowboys and winning a rematch of last year’s Super Bowl vs. the Kansas City Chiefs, both wins were close, one-possession games.

Philly doesn’t seem to be affected by any Super Bowl hangover, but instead, they appear to be on cruise control, relying on their defense to hold teams to around 300-ish yards and 20 points or less. The “Tush Push” alone can make up for that deficit. They rank #9 in total yards allowed thus far, but are in the bottom four in offensive yards accrued.

From a fantasy point of view, A.J. Brown is having a rough start to the season. He’s splitting a bulk of the targets with DeVonta Smith, but his yards haven’t been there. No Philly receiver has scored a touchdown through two weeks either. For any waiver wire pickups, you can’t go wrong with their defense, and kicker Jake Elliot is perfect through two weeks with three field goals and five extra points.

Next up, they face the LA Rams who have scored more points and held both teams they’ve faced to less than 20 points. Sounds like a Jake Elliot special!

3) At number three, I’ve got the LA Chargers. The Chargers have yet to play a home game through two weeks, having played week one in Brazil vs. the Chiefs and were at the Las Vegas Raiders for week two. Regardless, they came out on top over both division rivals.

They beat the Raiders pretty convincingly, 20-9, intercepting Geno Smith three times. How’s that for a defense in your fantasy league?

Conversely, Justin Herbert has thrown for 560 yards and five touchdowns with zero turnovers through two weeks. He’s an early MVP candidate, and if he’s available in your league, please do yourself a favor and pick him up.

Keenan Allen is LA’s WR1, but Quentin Johnson is booming. He’s third in receptions behind Allen and Ladd McConkey, but he’s leading in yards with 150, and also leads the team with three touchdowns. It appears as if something has clicked with him and his big-play potential is worth picking him up.

Next up, another divisional rival as they host the Denver Broncos.

2) At number two, The Green Bay Packers have looked amazing. They beat two 2024 playoffs teams in the Detroit Lions and Washington Commanders pretty convincingly. They scored 27 points in each game and held both teams to under 20 points. If you need a defense, you can’t go wrong with the Packers.

Jordan Love is balling with 480 yards and four touchdowns. If you’ve got Josh Jacobs on your fantasy team, you likely aren’t disappointed, as he’s scored a TD in each game. TE Tucker Kraft leads all receivers with 8 recs, 140 yds, and 2 TDS.

1) It should come as no surprise that the Buffalo Bills hold the #1 spot. After completing an amazing comeback vs. Baltimore in week one, they embarrassed the Jets on the road 30-10.

Josh Allen had a quiet week two with 148 yards in the air and 59 on the ground. Imagine that being a slow week... James Cook did a majority of the damage with 132 yards and two touchdowns. Those two guys are likely unavailable. However, if you need a kicker, maybe you can pick up Matt Prater. Rookie, Keon Coleman led all wide receivers in receptions again with three. All receivers had a slow day though. It was a ground-n-pound day for Buffalo.

Next up, they’ve got the lowly Miami Dolphins on Thursday Night. More on them later...

And now for the Bottom 5!

We’ll start again with the fifth-worst team and work up from there. The following teams are all winless.

5) At number five, the Cleveland Browns have been held to less than 20 points in each game. They lost a one-point game 17-16 to their in-state rivals, the Cincinnati Bengals in week one, but got demolished by the Ravens 41-17 in week two. They’re tied for the worst turnover ratio in the league with -4.

Joe Flacco, aside from his three interceptions, has looked like vintage Joe Flacco through two weeks with 489 yds, and two TDs. If you stash a backup QB, Flacco isn’t a bad option. They’ll be playing from behind a lot, which means airing it out. Likewise, Jerry Jeudy is the clear WR1, putting up decent numbers. He only lacks a TD.

Next up, they face the Green Bay Packers. There’s no way they cover the spread, let alone get a win. 0-3.

4) It’s finally time to bash my beloved Miami Dolphins at number four. Chris Grier and Mike McDaniel’s days are likely numbered. Miami got embarrassed by the Indianapolis Colts in week one 33-8, and lost a close game at home to hated rival New England Patriots. Miami and New England traded the lead back and forth, even converting back-to-back punt/kick off returns for TDs in the 4th quarter. The Pats sealed the deal with an Andres Borregales field goal. So far, Miami is tied with Cleveland for the worst turnover ratio with -4.

Miami QB Tua Tagovailoa played way better in week two, but still through an interception, his third of the season, and over-through his wide-open receivers on multiple occasions. I’d steer clear of Tua on my fantasy roster if I were you.

RB De’Von Achane had a great game with 8 recs, 92 receiving yds, and a TD. He only had 30 yards on the ground, but those reception points (if you play full or partial PPR) are more valuable anyway. As always, Tyreek Hill and Jalen Waddle are worth keeping on your roster as well. There is no one else on the roster worth picking up.

Next up, they get Buffalo on Thursday night, on the road. Miami going 0-3 is as close to a sure bet as you can get.

3) At number three, the New Orleans Saints have lost back-to-back to home games to west coast teams, who sometimes struggle when they head east of the Mississippi River this early in the season. The Saints have struggled on third down, converting less than half of their attempts in each game. They’re tied with the Bears as the third-most penalized team with 20.

Spencer Rattler has serviceable, putting up 421 yds and three TDs in the air and 43 on the ground. His most promising stat is zero turnovers.

Surprisingly, Alvin Kamara has been relatively quiet, only putting up 144 rushing yds with a TD, and 33 receiving yds. A better third-down conversion rate will likely lead to more TDs across the board for their heavy hitters.

TE Juwan Johnson has been lights out! I left him on my bench one too many times. He’s put up 13 recs, 125 yds, and 1 TD. Pick him up if you can either by waiver wire or trade.

Next up, the Saints travel to Seattle to face the 1-1 Seahawks. I’m taking the “12th Man” as the Saints fall to 0-3.

2) The last two were close, but number two goes to the Carolina Panthers. They’ve yet to play a home game, so maybe they’ll look more competent at home. Their last loss to the Cardinals was a one-possession game. However, they’re bottom five in turnover differential. On a bright note, they are one of the least penalized teams in the league, which is always a stat that successful teams share.

Bryce Young had a terrible week one with more interceptions than TD passes, but he flipped that around in week two, throwing for 328 yards, 3 TDs, and 1 INT. Rookie WR, Tetairoa McMillan has led the team in receiving yards both weeks. If you’re in need of a receiver, pick him up ASAP.

Next up, they host division rivals Atlanta Falcons. I’m taking Carolina to cover to get the win. 1-2.

1) The worst team thus far has been the Tennessee Titans. They’ve put up the least amount of points out of all bottom five teams through two weeks (31). They’re also the most penalized team in the league so far (23). That being said, I am fully sold on Cam Ward. He’s the future of that team and will be a force in the league, just not today. He’s committed zero turnovers, which is always promising for a rookie QB. He was also voted as team captain, as a rookie! His leadership skills are through the roof.

From a fantasy perspective, Calvin Ridley is showing what his veteran knowledge can bring to a struggling team. He’s looked like Ward’s security blanket, leading receivers in targets (14) and receptions (7).

Next up, they face the 2-0 Colts. Until the Titans can get their penalty problem under control, they won’t be able to build any momentum. 0-3.