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Posted: April 30, 2017

11 zingers from Hasan Minhaj's White House Correspondents' Dinner speech


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11 zingers from Hasan Minhaj's White House Correspondents' Dinner speech
The Daily Show correspondent Hasan Minhaj entertains the guests at the White House Correspondents' Dinner in Washington, Saturday, April 29, 2017. (AP Photo/Cliff Owen)

By Theresa Seiger and Michelle Ewing, Cox Media Group National Content Desk

WASHINGTON —

Comedian Hasan Minhaj ripped into President Donald Trump and coverage of his administration in a sweeping address at Saturday’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

>> Watch Minhaj's full speech here (WARNING: Viewer discretion advised)

Minhaj, a correspondent on Comedy Central's "The Daily Show With Trevor Noah," was announced earlier this month as entertainment for the sold-out event at the Washington Hilton. The president did not attend, instead holding a rally in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

>> PHOTOS: Scenes from the 2017 White House Correspondents’ Dinner

"I get it, I get it. We’ve got to address the elephant that's not in the room," Minhaj joked Saturday. "The leader of our country is not here. And that's because he lives in Moscow. It is a very long flight. It would be hard for (Russian President Vladimir Putin) to make it.
"As for the other guy, I think he's in Pennsylvania because he can't take a joke."
Here are 11 of Minhaj's most brutal zingers from the event:

>> PHOTOS: Revelers arrive for the 2017 White House Correspondents’ Dinner

1. "Who would have thought with everything going on in the country now that a Muslim would be standing on this stage for the ninth year in a row, baby?"

2. "No one wanted to do this, so of course it lands in the hands of an immigrant."

3. "We all know this administration loves deleting history faster than Anthony Weiner when he hears footsteps."

>> Will Ferrell reprises role as George W. Bush for ‘Not the White House Correspondents’ Dinner’

4. "For the nine people watching on C-SPAN, there was also another elephant in the room, but Donald Trump Jr. shot it and cut off its tail."

5. "Historically, the president usually performs at the Correspondents' Dinner, but I think I speak for all of us when I say he's done far too much bombing this month."

6. "I do not see Steve Bannon. Not see Steve Bannon. ‘Not-see’ Steve Bannon. 'Nazi’ Steve Bannon."

7. "Mike Pence wanted to be here tonight, but his wife wouldn't let him because apparently one of you ladies is ovulating."

8. "Jeff Sessions couldn't be here tonight; he was busy doing a pre-Civil War re-enactment. On his RSVP, he just wrote "no," just "nooo!" – which happens to be his second-favorite N-word."

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9. "Even Hillary Clinton couldn't be here tonight. I mean, she could have been here, but I think someone told her the event was in Wisconsin and Michigan."

10. "It finally happened: Bill O'Reilly has been fired. But then you gave him a $25 million severance package, making it the only package he won't force a woman to touch."

11. "CNN is here, baby. Now you guys got some really weird trust issues going on with the public. I'm not going to call you fake news, but everything isn't breaking news. You can't go to DEFCON 1 just because Sanjay Gupta found a new moisturizer."


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